Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
