2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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