we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
