i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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