The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
