Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
