I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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