dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
