Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
