turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
