Kiss
Puke
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
