there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
