Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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