counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
