I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
nutella sex= disaster
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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