5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
