you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
