i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
