So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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