I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just cut my nipple shaving
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
These tits shall not be calmed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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