You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
