Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
