You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
