I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
