Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
