just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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