i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
