I wish I only lived at night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
