I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
