Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
