i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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