sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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