i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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