Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
