You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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