My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
