She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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