Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i out mim tonsoeep
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