I think I just saw someone hide a body.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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