her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
