direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
