Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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