More tranny stories later!
she was so not down for the gang bang
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
