hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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