That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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