Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
