I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
