Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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