Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
