Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
