hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
