he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
