So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
