the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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