Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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